Trying to find my story (Blog)

I always knew going back to consultancy work wasn’t going to be easy. I thought I’d still find a way to cope, though. And I sort of did. But I find myself no longer willing to contribute to things I believe are doing great harm.

Things like throwing money at Facebook, or Twitter. The irony doesn’t escape me. I used to be all about Facebook, Twitter and other social media. I spent years promoting the platforms and their advertising offerings.

Now, however, I see that these companies are inflicting great harm on people, democratic institutions and our planet. I know, in my heart, that I can no longer encourage other companies to invest money in platforms that are so destructive.

The consequence? Most of my past experience as a marketing consultant is pretty useless. I can’t go back to what I am good at. I need to reinvent myself. I need to do something new. And every time I ponder over all of this, I think: “I need to find *my* story.”

My story?

Brené Brown has a story about vulnerability and shame. Angela Duckworth has a story about grit and purpose. There are many others out there who have a story about improving your health, being more productive, investing money,… But what is my story, I wonder?

I don’t have an answer yet. Or I should say: I don’t have a detailed one. I think I want to talk about the hard moments in any creative process. It’s something I feel comfortable talking about and something I think more people should talk about.

The truth is that I’m a bit paralyzed, though. I don’t know where to start. And so I thought I’d start here: on a new blog. I’ll try to write about my journey here. I’ll try to figure out what my story is. I’ll probably ramble a lot.

For now, the blog is only visible in the navigation for the people who support me every month. Why? Because we’re already in this together. Your recurring support enables my work. You give me a sense of financial stability. You’ve got my back and I feel safe sharing this with you.

Some things you should know

I feel like I should tell you something straight away. I’m no longer sure if I will ever be able to go back to weekly episodes. Even if support were to explode exponentially, I have come to understand that releasing an episode every week wears me out.

There are several reasons why a weekly release is so exhausting. The first is the amount of work every episode requires. It’s just too much to do it alone. I had no room for error, no room for a sick day and no room to reconsider something creatively.

The second reason is that I think I had become too dependent (financially). Being so extremely invested in one thing made it hard for me to separate what I wanted to do from what I thought my audience wanted me to do.

Empowering myself

I’m not as frustrated about going back to ‘consultancy’ as I used to be because I can now see that it might be a good thing for me. If I can find my own story, and find something to share with people that I believe will help them, I will also empower myself.

I will feel freer to create the stories I want to create because I’m no longer entirely dependent on listener-support. That, in turn, will make me more creative and improve the quality of the podcast, I believe.

It’s important that this new line of work is as fulfilling to me, though. If it isn’t, it’ll just drain me and drag me down. And so I have to feel like I’m improving people’s lives in a way. Not just a company’s profit margin.

A journey with a deadline

And so, here I stand in front of you today. Or sit, but that doesn’t sound as impressive;) . I gave myself until the early summer to find my story and start doing something with it. Talking to you about it is my first step.

I named the blog ‘Shitty Stuff’ after the term ‘Shitty first draft.’ A lot of people wince when I call my first draft shitty. For me, it’s liberating, though. It gives me some room to mess up while writing.

I don’t want to overthink this blog either. I want to be real and honest and open in my writing. Shitty is always a part of that. Thank you for your trust. Thank you for your support. Thank you for listening.



PS: I guess I already tried doing this with the vlog. I am not a camera person, though. I already knew that and I have tried changing that several times before. Doesn’t work. I’m a writer. About time I just accept it.

6 responses to “Trying to find my story (Blog)”

  1. Lise

    I love that you refuse to contribute to what is not acceptable for you. Most people would just do it anyway, “I need the money/job” being their motivation.
    There isn’t much I can say to make you feel better or find your story, but I will be listening if you need to let steam out and continue to contribute whatever your decisions will be. Just make sure the decisions are the right thing for YOU and remain true to your principles.
    I think that is the main reason I (maybe we, as a community) feel safe/good/heard here … You apply your principles to the site and that’s all the difference between here and the “big” social media.

    1. Sigrid

      Thank you for your reply, Lise! I love hearing your thoughts and I really appreciate the quick reply. Feels less lonely up here when I have someone to talk to, haha.

      I have some previous commitments I might have to follow up on, but I refuse to build a new career in something I think is not acceptable as a whole. I’m sure it’ll be a very tight rope to walk now and then.

      The thing with principles is that they are not as black & white as you think once you try to live them! I struggle with a lot of questions in that department. Maybe that’s an idea for another post someday!

      It’s wonderful to hear that you notice the difference with the ‘big’ social media. I love that you, all fellow romantics, sort of pushed me in this direction. Interacting with you did that. It changed me. It opened my eyes.

      Gosh, what a journey it has been already!

      *hug* Thanks again. Now I’m gonna go and try make y’all happy too by getting the episode out extra early 😉

    2. JDavis💚

      Well said @Lise!!

  2. JDavis💚

    I so admire your commitment to your business principles. Your courage is hugely inspiring!

    I haven’t read Lise’s comment yet or your response… I wanted to just go with my thoughts.

    I feel like the CONCEPTS you’re learned as a marketing consultant are still valid, but it is the TACTICS that have to change. Social media (or may social media outlets) may no longer be viable for you, so that opens the door to brainstorming on what other channels are out there. Or possibly developing a new channel as your are certainly not the only one fed up with how most social media platforms behave.

    I heard a phrase very recently that I found very intriguing and for some reason I feel it applies here. The phrase is: “amateurs talk about tactics, professionals talk about logistics.” My take away is that it important to look at how to do something as use that as an important aspect of deciding what to do.

    I know I’m rambling… I will walk this journey with you and I know I won’t be the only one. ❤❤❤❤❤

    1. Sigrid

      Thanks for your comment! I really appreciate these. You’re right. The concepts are still valid. I read your comment last night and decided to sleep on it and I am sure you planted something in my subconscious mind. Then Muriel sent me something that brought it all back to the front and I immediately had an idea. I sent a text to a friend who I think is looking for a pivot too. Updates to follow, I’m sure. I’m already scared again, LOL.

      Thank you.

  3. Treun

    I know this is an old post, but I am new here, so it is new to me!

    I admire your decision to extricate from social media. I too have a personal aversion to it. But I like the fact that I cannot be ‘googled’! It kind of makes me feel empowered somehow.

    Your commitment to find your story and your honesty surrounding that endeavour is inspiring. At the end of the day, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror. No one else can do that for you.

    As I navigate this site it speaks to me more and more and I just wanted to say so personally.

    Thank you.

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