Hello, my friend,
How are you doing on this Wednesday?
I’ve been taking better care of myself and I’m feeling the results. I’m not going to lie: I still experience these times as extremely stressful and I’m still anxious often. But with daily exercise, healthy food and (attempts at) meditation, I’m getting my mind and body back into a more balanced and empowered state.
By the way, have you seen this song and music video?!I LOVE it (for so, so, so many different reasons) and have been playing it non-stop. (Thanks, again, Thea for sharing it on the community!)
My own gift for you today is the teaser excerpt below. Hope you enjoy! 💜
UPDATE 7/10: Added some excerpt!
“Is that the milky way?” Emily wondered, staring into space.
Next to her, Lea had finally fallen asleep. Her calm breathing reminded Emily that she wasn’t actually floating in space, but lying on the bed of her hotel suite. She doubted she would get any sleep tonight.
There were too many questions that kept popping up in her mind. Most of them had to do with Lea. Today had not been a good day. There had been too much left unspoken between them.
Emily was no fool. She knew that Lea didn’t want to move to Florida. What she did have trouble understanding was Lea’s insistence that she did want to move. Emily had asked Lea if she was sure again and again, and Lea had kept lying.
For a few hours, Emily had actually considered taking Lea up on her offer. It had been too tempting not to. Because the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to work for Ayesha Jahani at Full Circle Games.
Emily couldn’t quite explain it, but something had shifted inside of her. Ayesha had focused on her potential, instead of her past experience. In a way, this had set Emily free to do the same.
She now understood why she had struggled to find a new path for her career. She had been considering jobs that were very much like her last one, even though she never wanted to go back to the way things were.
But now she knew it was time for her to let go of her old way of thinking. She had always known, deep down, that she had been serving the wrong cause. Designing the latest bells and whistles for a phone wasn’t very fulfilling after all.
Now, Ayesha Jahani was challenging her to go back to the drawing board and take an entirely different approach to every design she would ever create. Emily knew that this would radically change her life, and hopefully, other people’s too.
Every fiber of her body itched to get to work. She had no doubts that this was the direction she wanted to take in her career. If not at Full Circle Games, then somewhere else. She could even continue working as a freelancer.
Maybe Ayesha would be willing to hire her for specific projects? It was a possibility. Emily had a feeling Jahani wouldn’t let her go that easily. They had really connected in those few hours they had spent together.
After a year of worrying, Emily was suddenly surprisingly confident about her next steps. Her career was no longer keeping her up at night. Now, it was Lea. Because something had become crystal clear to Emily: things had to change.
Lea had been holding back again and again. She avoided uncomfortable conversations. She steered clear of conflict with her best friend, Claire. And now, Lea was even lying to her about being okay with moving to Florida.
“How did this happen?” Emily thought, clenching her teeth. “It didn’t use to be like this!”
When they had met, Lea had been incredibly forthcoming. It had been one of the reasons why Emily had fallen for her. But somewhere along the way, things had most definitely changed. Emily just didn’t understand why.
She didn’t think she had done anything to make Lea uncomfortable. She never got angry when it was clear that Claire was difficult again. And she had made sure to build her own new life apart from Lea’s.
Emily had also learned to talk about what she was thinking and feeling. She had never been so honest or forthcoming as she was with Lea. This made the situation seem even more frustrating and ridiculous to her.
Emily scratched the top of her head. Her eyes followed a shooting star on the ceiling, but she quickly lost interest. Her mind was too preoccupied now to enjoy the space illusion in the room.
“She would hate living in Florida. Why does she keep insisting we should move?!” Emily asked herself again.
She tried to remember what Lea had said in recent conversations. She felt like there was a thread running through them, and if she could find it, she’d understand what was going on.
“Why are you afraid to tell me what you really want?” Emily thought, while she studied Lea’s peaceful face. “Is it because you feel like you should do what I want to do?” Her throat tightened at that thought. “But why?”
Emily let out a deep sigh. This was not the type of relationship she wanted with Lea. They should both feel comfortable to be themselves. She rubbed an itchy spot just under her collar bone as she considered her next steps.
“Okay,” she decided. “First, I’m going to do what I want to do.”
She slowly lifted the covers and slipped from under them. Emily waited for a second until she was sure she hadn’t woken up Lea. Then, she tiptoed to the door and opened it so slowly it barely made a sound.