Lex studied the ceiling. Her alarm was still ringing. She let it. All she cared about was if the room would start moving again soon.

Her eyes flicked to the built-in closet. She braced herself in case the bed would start shifting under her, but nothing happened. Lex rolled onto her side and reached for her phone. She finally stopped the alarm.

It was 6 AM. She had left the curtains open. The ever-present glow of New York City’s lights filled the room. Lex sighed. The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow.

She didn’t notice she was crying until the salty tears reached her lips. Lex grabbed the pillow next to her, the one Mary had rested her head on, and held it against her chest.

There was only one word for the anguish she was in. She was heartbroken. And she knew she had done most of the breaking. Mary had been right to walk away.

Lex breathed out tiredly. She didn’t want to give in to the tears too much. That would keep her in bed all day and she had things to do. She had a plan to stick to.

After Mary had left last night, Lex had stared out of the window for hours. She had replayed the conversation with her mother numerous times. She had done the same with Mary’s words.

Finally, Lex had come up with a plan. She had decided things needed to change. *She* needed to change. This version of herself wasn’t working for her. Not anymore.

She had been too focused on becoming successful for most of her life. She had been a workaholic. She had been judgemental. And she had been someone who lied when things got uncomfortable.

In essence, she had become everything she had always hated about her father. Still, she wasn’t entirely like him. Lex *had* stood up for Vicky, hadn’t she?

She had paid a hefty price for it. But maybe losing everything was a gift. Perhaps it had set her free to lead a different life. Mary had made her see things in a different light.

Yes, Lex had lost Mary before she had even fully realized what a gift having Mary in her life was. But she hadn’t lost herself. On the contrary, she felt like she was finally discovering who she really was. Or could be.

It sounded strange, even to herself, but Lex had decided she would accept the heartbreak. It was worth it. She would embrace this new life, tears and all.

She knew exactly where to start: her new job. She had not been a good co-worker at the store. She had been even worse as a boss. She had to get to work and make amends.

But would she be able to? Lex did seem to feel a lot better this morning. Would it last? There was only one way to find out, she decided.

Lex pulled the sheets to the side and slowly sat up. She made sure the room wasn’t moving before getting up. Something in her back snapped as she stretched her arms into the air.

She picked dark blue jeans, a simple shirt and a sweater from the left side of her closet. She would change into an official Leroy blouse like the rest of the staff later anyway.

The bathroom light came on automatically. Lex threw off the old T-shirt she had slept in. She hesitated after stepping into the shower. It reminded her of Mary.

Lex ran her hand over the smooth tiles. She pictured Mary enjoying the rain shower head, smiling up into the water. It was hard to accept that Mary would never do that again.

Lex knew she shouldn’t even think about this. It was only making things harder. It would be stupid to deny that she still had a tiny glimmer of hope left, though.

What if Mary saw that Lex truly had changed? Not immediately, of course. Maybe in the long run. Mary hadn’t come here last night to break up with her after all.

Lex couldn’t stop thinking about the texts Mary had sent her before she had come to the apartment yesterday. They had been a desperate plea for Lex to open up, to stop lying.

Lex was ready to do that now. She would do it for herself, though. Not for Mary. Still, if Mary one day decided to give her another chance, she would take it.

Lex switched on the water. Her shoulders relaxed under the hot stream. She let the water pound her head for a long while. Then, a thought popped up into her mind.

In less than two weeks, Mary would leave the store. What if she hadn’t been serious about staying friends? What if Mary would disappear from her life entirely?

Lex grabbed the shampoo bottle and squeezed it. A pink, creamy blob slipped through her fingers and onto the floor. She poked at it with her toe. It slid down the drain.

“One blob at a time,” Lex said out loud.

She had no idea where it had come from. She smiled at her own random statement, though. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but it still made her feel better.

“One blob at a time,” she repeated and nodded.